Mornings at the Rec Center are amusing, to say the least. While I do have to endure piercing glares from my swim coaches because I'm not at practice, it's fun to laugh at the swim team working their guts out while you sit in your chair. Beyond that, there are the regulars. There is one lady who, before she does her workout, must make sure that all the floating balls on one lane line are evenly spaced. She may go back and forth 2-3 times perfecting the spacing. There is a man, the OCD lady's husband, who will get so hilariously angry if we leave the shallow-end door leading outside open. There's the private boys school that comes to swim and cause laughter to well in my chest. They have a little less than perfect form.
The water aerobics classes are a cut above. The sea cows are constantly finding new ways to make the day interesting, humorous, or a pain in the backside. Lifting up lane lines for arthritis victims, jumping in the water too early and causing the swim team to get irrate and splash just to be contrary, the fact that they must have their ten minutes in the hot tub following their class, all these things just make me laugh. Ooooooooom!
Later on in the morning, around 8:15, we are joined by a group of old men who will stand in a small circle and hop about cracking horribly corny jokes. They always get me to chuckle.
As terrible as it is to go to work at 5:00, I find humor in the work day.
Also, I get to dress up like I'm Irish and have Beehives/Mia Maids call me Máthair during Camp! Woohoo! I'm so excited. This is no "Sham," camp is going to "Rock!"
Monday, June 27, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
First Rescue
That's right! You get two posts from me today. Why? Because I needed to put this up eventually and now is as good as tomorrow. That and I haven't done a creative post for a long time. To explicar, (don't even comment on that, bluebird) patrolling is obviously lifeguarding. We have an "under 9 rule" that says all kids under 9 must be with someone 15+. However, kids can get "duckie passes" if they are 6-8 and prove their swimming capabilities. So, I commence.
Blistering heat battered the ocelot's neck and sweat trickled between her fur follicles. The river patrolling had been particularly draining that day, but in sooth it had only begun. Foolish fishes flopped across the waters carelessly. This only added to the ocelot's poor mood. How she wished she didn't have to watch them from the land! But that was not the current matter.
Reverting her eyes back to the fledgling finch in the river, she held in a sigh. The little thing could hardly keep her head above water. Not that she was in any great danger. There was a sizeable stone jutting out of the water to grip should she truly begin to drown.
The ocelot was rather put out with the mother finch at her side. One of the rules of the patrollers was that particularly small animals must be accompanied in the waters by an animal capable of taking care of them. However, they had exceptions. If young animals should prove themselves able to take care of themselves, the patrollers would let them do so unsupervised. The finch mother thought her fledgling was ready for such a challenge. However, by the looks of it, there was no possibility that the ocelot would let her wander about alone.
Tiny squawks cried out wordlessly. The fledgling was pleading for help. The ocelot's muscles tensed and adrenaline tried to force her into the water. But for a moment, she paused, wondering if the fledgling would notice the rock beside her. But the small bird was too frightened to take any heed of her surroundings. The ocelot plunged into the current.
Swimming to the small ball of feathers was no difficulty, and soon she was beside the bird. The little thing had noticed--just before the ocelot reached her--the stone and was clinging to it desperately. Coaxing her gently, the ocelot placed the orb of damp feathers on her head and swam calmly back to the bank. It could have been far worse, but under no circumstances was such a feeble creature going to be allowed to play in the waters alone.
Pulling her bulk out of the flow, she put the fledgling back on firm ground next to her mother. The ocelot raised her eyes to meet those of the larger finch, saying with her eyes and the placing of her lips what she thought of the young one's swimming capabilities.
"Did she pass?" the mother finch asked pragmatically.
It was going to be a long day for the ocelot.
This happened sometime last week-ish. I don't really know. All the days just sort of mush together.
Blistering heat battered the ocelot's neck and sweat trickled between her fur follicles. The river patrolling had been particularly draining that day, but in sooth it had only begun. Foolish fishes flopped across the waters carelessly. This only added to the ocelot's poor mood. How she wished she didn't have to watch them from the land! But that was not the current matter.
Reverting her eyes back to the fledgling finch in the river, she held in a sigh. The little thing could hardly keep her head above water. Not that she was in any great danger. There was a sizeable stone jutting out of the water to grip should she truly begin to drown.
The ocelot was rather put out with the mother finch at her side. One of the rules of the patrollers was that particularly small animals must be accompanied in the waters by an animal capable of taking care of them. However, they had exceptions. If young animals should prove themselves able to take care of themselves, the patrollers would let them do so unsupervised. The finch mother thought her fledgling was ready for such a challenge. However, by the looks of it, there was no possibility that the ocelot would let her wander about alone.
Tiny squawks cried out wordlessly. The fledgling was pleading for help. The ocelot's muscles tensed and adrenaline tried to force her into the water. But for a moment, she paused, wondering if the fledgling would notice the rock beside her. But the small bird was too frightened to take any heed of her surroundings. The ocelot plunged into the current.
Swimming to the small ball of feathers was no difficulty, and soon she was beside the bird. The little thing had noticed--just before the ocelot reached her--the stone and was clinging to it desperately. Coaxing her gently, the ocelot placed the orb of damp feathers on her head and swam calmly back to the bank. It could have been far worse, but under no circumstances was such a feeble creature going to be allowed to play in the waters alone.
Pulling her bulk out of the flow, she put the fledgling back on firm ground next to her mother. The ocelot raised her eyes to meet those of the larger finch, saying with her eyes and the placing of her lips what she thought of the young one's swimming capabilities.
"Did she pass?" the mother finch asked pragmatically.
It was going to be a long day for the ocelot.
This happened sometime last week-ish. I don't really know. All the days just sort of mush together.
Lifeguard Insanity V
Just to show you how weird us lifeguards are, (yes, I know it should be we lifeguards, but I don't care) I'll tell you how we were spending our time waiting to open today. We were all lined up on our DI couches talking about how funny it would be to rotate the lap pool backwards. The sad part is, we actually found it amusing. Then we thought of ways that we could start in the middle of the rotation, or even do a criss-cross switch back sort of thing. When we ran out of ideas for that, we watched two girls play volleyball/hacky sack with diving sticks. That entertained us for up to ten minutes. It was really funny though.
Anyway, nothing interesting at work today, just a large amount of messes for guards that weren't me to clean up (the leopard seal had to clean several up, but it's his own gosh darn fault for breaking his arm and getting himself on the cleaning crew for the entire month). No one drowned while I was there, which is good. But people are starting to notice that they always have me guarding the kiddie pool now. Even when I take other people's shifts I somehow end up with C pool. It's definitely a conspiracy to truly rob me of my sanity.
Anyway, nothing interesting at work today, just a large amount of messes for guards that weren't me to clean up (the leopard seal had to clean several up, but it's his own gosh darn fault for breaking his arm and getting himself on the cleaning crew for the entire month). No one drowned while I was there, which is good. But people are starting to notice that they always have me guarding the kiddie pool now. Even when I take other people's shifts I somehow end up with C pool. It's definitely a conspiracy to truly rob me of my sanity.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Lifeguard Insanity IV
Today, I sang to myself nearly the entire time. Since I was on top of the slide tower alone a lot, I started to sing about the things I saw, and Timp was swathed in misty clouds. Utterly stunning, to be sure. What resulted is this thingamajig. I'll probably be working out the notes on the piano tonight.
The mountain on the horizon
Marks the end of all that I know
Yet it beckons and cries
And begs to be climbed
But I don't know where to go
I think I'll try to write other verses soon. The melody that it goes to is kind of cool, if I do say so myself.
The sky was gorgeous today. I love storm clouds and all, but that wasn't even it. When the sun started coming out while the rain was at its worst, two astoundingly bright rainbows appeared. It's a good thing no one was in the pool I was guarding, because I was rather preoccupied. Then, as the storm continued to fade away into the east, a clump of cloud patches covered the sun. Yet, because of the breaks in the cover, visible rays of sunlight trickled down into the sky, lightening the horizon. But this was not the end. Did any of you see the sunset? The clouds were alight with brilliantly colored flame. An elegant stroke of heavens paintbrush along the lingering clouds. Too bad my mom had stolen the camera and left.
Now that I'm done rambling about the heavens, here's a funny story from lifeguarding. Maybe not as funny now that it's after the fact, but it was the highlight of my day beyond the sky. I was guarding the slide pool, as you may have guessed, and there was a birthday party there. A few of the invitees were too scared to go down the straight slide. Such is the way it always is. If the lifeguards are bored enough (we were) then we try to coax these reluctant people to go down the slide. Well, there was one guard who though it would be extremely amusing to tell one of the reluctants that if she went down the slide, the one guy who was guarding on our pool would kiss her. Already amusing, right? But what's more, after twenty minutes of contemplaiting it, she went down the slide. And she expected what she was promised. The guy found out about this promise after she had gone down the slide. Nothing really happened, 'cause he was still working. However, after we closed, everyone was still clearing out and another guy from a different pool came and asked the guy on our pool (for clarity, Guy #1) if he wanted to kiss the girl. Guy #1 answered no, because he didn't, and the girl was the same age as his younger sister, and knew his younger sister. Besides that he just didn't want to. Nevertheless, Guy #2 got this devilish grin on his face and went and got the girl. Awkwardness continued. Using the excuse of puttin ghis tube away, Guy #1 went off t0 the shed with the girl following him. I almost believe his account of what came after, but I really don't quite think I do. He says that he gave her a little hug, a little kiss, said sorry, and tried to go on his way. She asked if he wanted her number, and he said something to the effect of, "No, I'm fine." We had a joyous time teasing him about it while cleaning the locker rooms. Sadly, that was the most interesting thing that happened at work today. One guy told Guy #1 that he should have kissed her out in the open so we could all laugh forever about it. He said, "You'd be known forever at the pool." Then Guy #2 said, "You'd be a legend." The other guy continued to say, jokingly, "Hey, you could've been lifeguard of the week." That just topped off my night.
EDIT - Due to compications with comments, no comments will be allowed on this post. Lo siento. R.U. Serious, please do not comment again.
The mountain on the horizon
Marks the end of all that I know
Yet it beckons and cries
And begs to be climbed
But I don't know where to go
I think I'll try to write other verses soon. The melody that it goes to is kind of cool, if I do say so myself.
The sky was gorgeous today. I love storm clouds and all, but that wasn't even it. When the sun started coming out while the rain was at its worst, two astoundingly bright rainbows appeared. It's a good thing no one was in the pool I was guarding, because I was rather preoccupied. Then, as the storm continued to fade away into the east, a clump of cloud patches covered the sun. Yet, because of the breaks in the cover, visible rays of sunlight trickled down into the sky, lightening the horizon. But this was not the end. Did any of you see the sunset? The clouds were alight with brilliantly colored flame. An elegant stroke of heavens paintbrush along the lingering clouds. Too bad my mom had stolen the camera and left.
Now that I'm done rambling about the heavens, here's a funny story from lifeguarding. Maybe not as funny now that it's after the fact, but it was the highlight of my day beyond the sky. I was guarding the slide pool, as you may have guessed, and there was a birthday party there. A few of the invitees were too scared to go down the straight slide. Such is the way it always is. If the lifeguards are bored enough (we were) then we try to coax these reluctant people to go down the slide. Well, there was one guard who though it would be extremely amusing to tell one of the reluctants that if she went down the slide, the one guy who was guarding on our pool would kiss her. Already amusing, right? But what's more, after twenty minutes of contemplaiting it, she went down the slide. And she expected what she was promised. The guy found out about this promise after she had gone down the slide. Nothing really happened, 'cause he was still working. However, after we closed, everyone was still clearing out and another guy from a different pool came and asked the guy on our pool (for clarity, Guy #1) if he wanted to kiss the girl. Guy #1 answered no, because he didn't, and the girl was the same age as his younger sister, and knew his younger sister. Besides that he just didn't want to. Nevertheless, Guy #2 got this devilish grin on his face and went and got the girl. Awkwardness continued. Using the excuse of puttin ghis tube away, Guy #1 went off t0 the shed with the girl following him. I almost believe his account of what came after, but I really don't quite think I do. He says that he gave her a little hug, a little kiss, said sorry, and tried to go on his way. She asked if he wanted her number, and he said something to the effect of, "No, I'm fine." We had a joyous time teasing him about it while cleaning the locker rooms. Sadly, that was the most interesting thing that happened at work today. One guy told Guy #1 that he should have kissed her out in the open so we could all laugh forever about it. He said, "You'd be known forever at the pool." Then Guy #2 said, "You'd be a legend." The other guy continued to say, jokingly, "Hey, you could've been lifeguard of the week." That just topped off my night.
EDIT - Due to compications with comments, no comments will be allowed on this post. Lo siento. R.U. Serious, please do not comment again.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Flutterbying
So today I subbed for one of the Rec Swim coaches. Some of the kids are our age, but I neglected to tell them I was three years younger than their other coach. It was the second day of butterfly week and let me tell you, it was a funny, funny thing to see. The sad part is, I started out worse than they are right now. I think I scared the second group though. I started dancing around and singing Jekyll & Hyde out of boredom. Yeah, they kinda looked at me oddly after that.
I LOVE LIGHTNING!!! And not just because it got me out of lifeguarding early. It was awesome to get paid to watch a lightning display. And then it started raining! I love the rain! La la la la. I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain. What a wonderful feeling I'm happy again! Well, I was happy before, but it just cheered me all the more.
Then, even after the joy of watching floundering swimmers, a lightning show, and dancing in the rain, I got to go do baptisms for the dead. It was so nice and peaceful. All my worries just floated away and my current shoulder pains were nonexistent. I love the temple. Bluebird, we should go to the one down yonder and take pictures. I figure we've done two other ones, why not a third? We should get pictures of as many as well can. We could make a temple collage.
I LOVE LIGHTNING!!! And not just because it got me out of lifeguarding early. It was awesome to get paid to watch a lightning display. And then it started raining! I love the rain! La la la la. I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain. What a wonderful feeling I'm happy again! Well, I was happy before, but it just cheered me all the more.
Then, even after the joy of watching floundering swimmers, a lightning show, and dancing in the rain, I got to go do baptisms for the dead. It was so nice and peaceful. All my worries just floated away and my current shoulder pains were nonexistent. I love the temple. Bluebird, we should go to the one down yonder and take pictures. I figure we've done two other ones, why not a third? We should get pictures of as many as well can. We could make a temple collage.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Lifeguard Insanity III
Two new characters have sprouted from the fertile soil of a bored mind during the past few days out in the sun. Four others are half-formed, not yet ready to face the glaring eyes of the public. For now, I introduce you to Sulinarë, who's vessel is the Sun, and Montohl, who's vessel is the Moon. One is born of Time and the other of Nature, but none save perhaps the mothers can remember who was born of who. Montohl tends to be moody and speculative, slightly erratic, but all in his own cycle. Sulinarë is constant, ever reliable and often turned to. Hmmm, I'm seeing connections to certain real world people here, but I'm not going to go into that. And don't worry, if I mean you, you'll probably know soon enough.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Lifeguard Insanity II
Today, I will impart with you the true nature of lifeguards. In sooth, all we claim to be is a farce. Our title is insider code for "Over-glorified Janitorial Vultures." You don't believe me? Think about it: we sit in our plastic and metal nests waiting for someone to start to die. Then, when all potential deaths are gone, we clean up any residual traces of their presence. I did a lot of that last part today. Yuck.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Something's Missing...
It feels like I'm missing a limb. Especially last night. At the dance, I kept turning to talk to the bluebird and, get this, SHE WASN'T THERE! And I would go off into some unpopulated corner to dance away from the "circles" and who would be with me? NO ONE! The feeling was like when you think there's another step in a flight of stairs and you lift up your foot only to bring it down and find there's no step after all. It was like that all night. It got irking near the end there. As a result of the severe lack of bluebird-ness, I stuck around the malamute for quite some time, then had several discussions with the flying squirrel, then went around and told folks like the Congo peacock to dance. But it just wasn't the same. *sigh* Oh well, I'll survive.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Lifeguard Insanity I
I shall begin numbering the "Lifeguard Insanity" posts as I'm sure there shall be many. Yesterday at work I sang myself this little ditty (I really don't know why I did or where the inspiration came from, but I don't care, either). It has music that goes along with it, but I can't remember any of it now.
Hold me like you'll never let me wander
Console me that our love will never fade
Show me in your ever silent way
That you will always love me,
love me like you do today
Enfold me in the soft wings of a dove
Hold me like a guardian angel from above
Surround me with knowledge of your love
And never let me forget, never let me forget
the way you hold me today
Yeah, definitely weird. But that was only the beginning. I later moved on to inventing an entire musical. The plot line was hideous and the music was worse (this point was accented by the fact that I was singing all the parts). And the only character who had a name was Elizabeth. All the other characters' names kept changing to whatever fit in the music at the time.
Today I just sang songs from Jekyll & Hyde. However, I did have to save someone for the first time. Pitifully, it was a girl that was testing to see if she could be in the pool without a parent even though she isn't nine yrs. old. Guess who didn't pass that test? Good, you're all very clever.
I'm sure that later installments of my thoughts as a lifeguard will include more songs, probably some nonsense rhyming, and possibly descriptions of music that has no words that comes to my mind anyway. I hope it doesn't scare you all too horribly.
Hold me like you'll never let me wander
Console me that our love will never fade
Show me in your ever silent way
That you will always love me,
love me like you do today
Enfold me in the soft wings of a dove
Hold me like a guardian angel from above
Surround me with knowledge of your love
And never let me forget, never let me forget
the way you hold me today
Yeah, definitely weird. But that was only the beginning. I later moved on to inventing an entire musical. The plot line was hideous and the music was worse (this point was accented by the fact that I was singing all the parts). And the only character who had a name was Elizabeth. All the other characters' names kept changing to whatever fit in the music at the time.
Today I just sang songs from Jekyll & Hyde. However, I did have to save someone for the first time. Pitifully, it was a girl that was testing to see if she could be in the pool without a parent even though she isn't nine yrs. old. Guess who didn't pass that test? Good, you're all very clever.
I'm sure that later installments of my thoughts as a lifeguard will include more songs, probably some nonsense rhyming, and possibly descriptions of music that has no words that comes to my mind anyway. I hope it doesn't scare you all too horribly.
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