I've been thinking over the past few days, and I've come to a realization:
Very few people believe in the benefit of the doubt.
Not to sound high and mighty, but I seem to always be the one shoving in comments that make people look at things from another person's point of view. I think this is strange, because I've never thought of myself as the most understanding or forgiving person (most times, if I forgive you, it's 'cause I have to look at you on a daily basis). I still don't think I am. I think there are just things that have happened to me that force me to give people the benefit of the doubt, whether they deserve it or not, or whether their circumstances are anything similar to mine or not.
That's fine, that's great, I learned my lesson the hard way (which sucked, by the way). But why can't other people just give others a little leeway? Why do they make the assumption that because someone isn't perfect, they aren't trying their hardest? Why do they decide that just because someone has screwed up time and time again, they are worth detesting with every fiber of their soul? What gives any of us the right to hate our spirit brothers and sisters because they aren't as perfect as we'd like them to be? What if everyone hated me because I tend to be tactless and say things I don't necessarily mean? What if everyone despised me because I tend to correct a lot of the things they say, whether I'm serious about it or not? Some people can forgive me those trespasses, but they can't forgive someone being flamoyant by nature, or passive by nature. Why?
I don't know, maybe this all boils down to a "why can't we be friends?" issue, but it's been bothering me recently.
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3 comments:
My opinion? Part of it has to do with that people by nature are just very egocentric. Also, seeing things from another's point of view is a higher developmental stage than a lot of people get to. In Piaget's four stages of development, it's only in the fourth stage that one is able to think abstractly and see possibilities that are different than are not necessarily through. The type of thinking you are talking about is a part of this category. Now, according to Piaget, that stage should be reached at age 11 or 12. But when someone redid his experiments, they found that a lot of people actually never reach that point. Four groups of people were tested. The average 14-yr.-olds had 0% at that stage. Of average late teens in regular high schools, 40% showed that they had reached stage four. Gifted high school students in their late teens were higher at 57%, but the average blue-collar working adults were down at 33%. So, really, it's not necessarily their faults that they have a hard time seeing things differently. If you're talking moral development, this skill seems to fit mostly in the post-conventional stage, while most people get stuck in the conventional stage... So they still can't see it.
Sorry if that bored you. I'm just trying to see it from the point of view of those that can't see things from the point of view of others... ;)
well i don't know why people don't give people the benefit of the doubt anymore. i don't mean to be mean most of the time, but i can't say i'm always the best at giving people the benefit of anything. it's not something i'd brag about, but i guess it's true. i'm stubborn sometimes.
but i will say that i would be a lot more loyal to someone who is understanding and actually cares a little. it's hard to give people the benefit of the doubt when you know a lot of people won't give it back when you need it from them. but the more you help people out a little, the more likely they will be to give it back when you need them the most.
wow, i don't think i can even get any sense of what i just wrote. it's late. the point is, don't stop being nice. what goes around comes around :D
By the way, I approve of the new layout! ;)
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