Comparison

Just a little something I thought up at swim practice and churned out in about a half hour.


Everybody needs it: down time. Some people take naps, some play sports—I lose myself in my own imagination. Whether it is by writing, by strategizing unreal military conflicts, or simply by daydreaming, my place of complete solace is within the limitless corridors of my mind. However, in given circumstances, certain methods are more preferable than others.

Have you ever studied the spontaneity of chemical reactions? In a given circumstance, a spontaneous reaction—one that happens of its own accord and continues to completion on its own—is usually one that releases energy. It takes the components from a state of higher energy to one of lower energy. This is rather like release of stress. Activities that people tend to do of their own accord and complete are those that take them from a higher level of stress to a lower level.

For me, writing is a stress relieving activity. However, it is like a large number of spontaneous reactions that require activation energy. These reactions, in order to occur, need an input of energy that takes them to a higher level—the activation energy. After this level of energy has been reached, the reaction will take care of the rest on it’s own. It’s like lighting gasoline on fire. A match or a spark is necessary to give it the activation energy, but after that it happens on its own. So it is with writing and my stress level. It relieves stress beautifully, but first it requires me to raise my stress level. I have to plan, ponder, and initiate the habit of writing daily for the process to be of any use. All of these things increase my stress level before the writing’s soothing effect kicks in.

Even so, there is more than one type of spontaneous reaction. The melting of ice into water, for example, requires no activation energy so long as certain conditions (namely, having the temperature about freezing) are met. Something similar to that is a recent opportunity I have been given. Now, it is completely nerdy and would not appeal to many. However, being an irredeemable nerd, I snatched it up. Certain friends of mine, all of them science fiction writers, have challenged the genre of fantasy to a battle. Two other fantasy writers and I have been constructing the armies, planning strategies, and devising ways around inevitable science fiction advantages. In the end, it is an utterly pointless endeavor. But it relieves my stress spontaneously, and does not raise my stress level in the least simply because it is so pointless. If the pointless condition were not met—say we had money riding on the outcome—the stress release would not come so easily.

The simplest form of spontaneous reactions is the type that occurs no matter the circumstances, like radioactive decay. Nothing can stop it; it just happens. That is my chemical equivalent of daydreaming. No one can put restrictions on my mental wanderings, and I slip in and out of them with ease. They do not have the immense, immediate impact on my stress level (radiation is a slow process), but it takes it away a piece at a time, keeping me sane.

Though I can’t say that my relating chemistry and stress relief says much for my sanity.

On the Upside

So I'm basically home-bound, I can't really breathe, my coughs sound gross, and I now know exactly what the doctor is listening for when he puts the stethescope on your chest and tells you to go through various respiratory practices. I am now so sick that I can't visit my dad for fear of infecting him. BUT, since I am incapable of doing anything else, there is no more putting off reading The Brothers Karamazov. In fact, my time is so unscheduled that I'll probably finish my explications before the break is over. There's always a silver lining.

Also, I am planning a war. It's a joyous thing, really. The science fiction writers of Writers' Block challenged fastasy to a genre war. Three armies vs. three armies, plus a back-up, last-ditch effort for each side. Fantasy is going to kick trash. And yes, we do have referees to ensure that no one goes to unreasonable extremes (though I am unsure "unreasonable" can apply to either genre, most especially my own). My army is practically planned. I'm especially excited to use my elementals and my sprites. For one, I know there will be element manipulation from the scifi-ites, because one of them told me so. My elementals are immune to any effects from their given elements. The sprites are small, and scifi-ites tend to be enamored with large machines, so they will pay the blighters little notice. Too bad my sprites have the most lethal poison ever conceived. Haha. The only reason the scifi-ites aren't already shaking in their boots is because they've only seen fantasy writers who exhibit restraint. But we're pulling out all the stops now. For example, I won't be using any Sfereshan sorcerers, because they suffer effects as devastating as those they deal out. Not a very intimidating opponent. But when the sprites suffer no repercussions for the devising of their poisons, or for their innate magic that relates to avoiding detection--that's something to be concerned about. And the Fantasy Allies haven't even gotten to using evil creatures yet. Demons, necromancers, and all that shnazzy jazz are at our disposal. Watch out future, here comes your worst nightmare.

I am such an irredemeable nerd.

Running On Empty

I got sent home from practice today. I don't know how I feel about that. After I had stopped about three times to cough up my lungs, Todd had me climb out of the pool and swim a 1000 cool down in the short lanes. I think that's a bad sign. Well, at least I got to help some JV swimmers who stayed late with their flip-turns. Little Gee says it feels a lot better, and she isn't flapping her arms anymore.

Anyhow, I just feel crappy. Whenever I try to do kick sets, my legs feel like we've been doing leg-intensive workouts for the past three days. Too bad I haven't even been practicing for the last three days, so that theory's dead. My cough's getting worse too. I've been sick for three months, and I'm taking a dip in my health. And I've hit my late-November/early-December low a little early. No big surprise there, given the circumstances. I'm stressed. Nothing new. But I'll post my l-N/e-D theme song, just because. Not all lines apply, obviously. But the chorus definitely does, and quite a few other lines.


Running On Empty - Jackson Browne

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
In sixty-five I was seventeen and running up one-o-one
I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive
In sixty-nine I was twenty-one and I called the road my own
I don't know when that road turned onto the road I'm on

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe
I don't know about anyone but me
If it takes all night, that'll be all right
If I can get you to smile before I leave
Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes I see them running too

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Honey you really tempt me
You know the way you look so kind
I'd love to stick around but I'm running behind
You know I don't even know what I'm hoping to find
Running into the sun but I'm running behind

Regardless of the song, I'm gonna be all right. Really. I get through this slump every year. Just because it's more intense doesn't mean I can't handle it.

So It Begins

700 words today. Only 133.33333 words off of the schedule for a half NaNo.